Once upon a time, I was a personal trainer. I thought of it as “coaching.” But it was more like teaching.

Then I coached other trainers, but that was more like teaching and behavior modeling.

But then! I coached the people that coached those trainers. That was only more teaching, and more behavior modeling. Also a lot more hand-shaking and fist-bumping.

Eventually, I was part of a leadership development program. It was a program that focused on development through roleplays and feedback.

It was still not coaching the way I know it today, but it was helping folks move the confidence needle. That was the part of the work I actually enjoyed, but I didn’t know why.

No work that I have done since has been more rewarding. Until now.

Personal Life

My wife and I live in Playa del Carmen, Mexico.

We left the US in 2012, living in Costa Rica for five years. In 2017, we moved to Playa, and never looked back.

Mexico is the home we never knew we wanted. 

Three times a week, we play beach volleyball with a group that we organize. Daily, we both keep workout routines, take walks with our dogs, and practice forms of mindfulness meditation.

When time provides, we venture out. Mexico is a huge place to discover. But we’ll go anywhere that sounds exciting and will have us.

My Style

What I bring to the table is my desire to reduce suffering for individuals. That, and my sense of humor, which is occasionally good for a grin.  

People who spend time with me report that a feeling of genuine caring is what they most notice about my style.

I think this comes from a desire to get it, whatever “it” is. Even if you don’t know yourself? I want to get to the heart of what you’re saying. It matters.

For one, you deserve to be heard.
You also deserve to be seen.
You matter.

To find successful solutions to any challenge, we must start with the most honest version of the What. As in, what exactly is going on.

There is no path to confidence that doesn’t start with a complete confrontation with what is.

Even when it makes us uncomfortable. In fact, especially then.

Core Values

Updated: September 2022

When we hit a crossroads, our values are what we throw our backs against to check how we’re thinking.

︎ Our values are the foundation of how we operate with confidence.
︎ It’s normal to never identify them, but unwise.
︎ Figuring them out is more than a creative exercise. They take time to develop.
︎ They should feel like they’re slowly evolving, never permanent.

These are mine...

Walk here

What is present now matters most. Want for nothing else before this. Where I am is where I am. It’s always here. It’s always now. Everything else leads to suffering. 

Fortify shelters

The prime utility of my self-practices is what they do for me when a storm rolls in. Maintain this present mind and body every day to weather any storm.

Train out

As a close 2nd-place to fortifying shelters, keep daily self-compassion practices (health, mind, and spirit) in order to contribute my best “self” to the world; especially to the people in it.

Start over

Perfection is the act of starting over (and over, and over, and over) without flinching.  Giving myself permission to start over is everything to letting go of what I think is perfection.

Interpret charitably

Assume the best meaning of what is communicated by someone else. When in doubt? Round up.

Seek intentions

More than interpretations, what one intends to communicate matters first. I can know by inquiring.

Own interpretations

Make the clear understanding of what I mean 100% mine to own. I know my own intentions. Ask: Will they know them without having to work for it? This is my work as the sender.

Humanize candor

Make feedback compassionate. Honesty that acknowledges the dignity of others trumps dishonesty. Swap in conscious candor for reckless candor. 

Elevate rightness

Focus more on getting it right versus being right. Always look to upgrade that relationship.

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My Confident Me © 2022