Once upon a time, I was a personal trainer. I thought of it as “coaching.” But it was more like teaching.
Then I coached other trainers, but that was more like teaching and behavior modeling.
But then! I coached the people that coached those trainers. That was only more teaching, and more behavior modeling. Also a lot more hand-shaking and fist-bumping.
Eventually, I was part of a leadership development program. It was a program that focused on development through roleplays and feedback.
It was still not coaching the way I know it today, but it was helping folks move the confidence needle. That was the part of the work I actually enjoyed, but I didn’t know why.
No work that I have done since has been more rewarding. Until now.
My wife and I live in Playa del Carmen, Mexico.
We left the US in 2012, living in Costa Rica for five years. In 2017, we moved to Playa, and never looked back.
Mexico is the home we never knew we wanted.
Three times a week, we play beach volleyball with a group that we organize. Daily, we both keep workout routines, take walks with our dogs, and practice forms of mindfulness meditation.
When time provides, we venture out. Mexico is a huge place to discover. But we’ll go anywhere that sounds exciting and will have us.
What I bring to the table is my desire to reduce suffering for individuals. That, and my sense of humor, which is occasionally good for a grin.
People who spend time with me report that a feeling of genuine caring is what they most notice about my style.
I think this comes from a desire to get it, whatever “it” is. Even if you don’t know yourself? I want to get to the heart of what you’re saying. It matters.
For one, you deserve to be heard.
You also deserve to be seen.
To find successful solutions to any challenge, we must start with the most honest version of the What. As in, what exactly is going on.
There is no path to confidence that doesn’t start with a complete confrontation with what is.
Even when it makes us uncomfortable. In fact, especially then.
Internal DriversUpdated: February 2023 (Replaced Core Values page)
Core to who we are, our internal drivers* are the source code behind our values and life purpose. Whereas our values can upend over the years, and our purpose can evolve, our internal drivers have been powering us from our earliest moments of awareness.
Knowing them can better inform our values, but more importantly, can also help us divine our purpose.
This is what I’ve found true about my internal drivers:
While I would lobby that true agency is an illusion, the human freedom to do as we please has been a driver from an early age for me.
Distinct from the stridency of achievement, accomplishment captures my unstoppable desire to do. This is a true driver as it’s not one I’d prefer to have, but here we are.
Since an early age, I have noticed the desire to wake up to what is real. For a time, that manifested in a desire to experience altered states as if they promised me everything I needed to know about what is true. These days, I find the technicolor mundaneness of life to be enough.
This one has its downsides, but has been with me since I figured how much suffering living with disorganization caused me.
My nature is inherently curious, most easily influenced by novelty, but accessible at any time when I’m mindful enough. The unknown doesn’t scare me, it draws me closer.
My nature has been inquisitive since I was old enough to ask questions. Children ask questions, but I’ve never stopped trying to understand as much as I can like I’ve been accumulating knowledge.
Storytelling, creating, building, and learning. If I want it, I might as well make it since I’m going to make something anyway. This is what I would do when there was nothing to do. I make things.
To a fault, my mind works on solving many challenges at once, whether I like it or not. This driver feeds into accomplishment
*This concept of internal drivers and the process of discovery were both taught to me by one of my coaches, Maureen Miller. 🙏
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